I find it difficult to know what to say. My heart is heavy, and has been since Saturday morning; I cannot imagine that it will be any less so in the near future.
My husband's best friend died two weeks ago. Suicide. They found him in the woods on Saturday.
Grief is thick in the air around here.
Matthew was a good man. He was good people, Nick would say. The best kind of people. The best kind of friend. He was always there when his family and friends needed him. Always ready to offer a hand and a smile. Always the first to step up.
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| { Nick & Matthew on our wedding day } |
Nick has known Matthew since they were seven years old ~ almost two decades. He was Nick's best man in our wedding, in 2007. He helped us move countless times in the first couple of years of our marriage. The first time, he showed up hours early just to help me pack, and he brought me lunch. That was the kind of man Matt was. The kind of person who thinks about others. Who is kind. Who gives because he doesn't know any other way to be. A good man.
His funeral is on Friday, in Montana. I would give anything for Nick to be able to go and say goodbye to his friend, but it isn't possible, financially. I keep vacillating between sadness that Matt is gone, and anger that I can't do anything to ease the suffering my husband is going through at his loss, or to help give him closure. I don't have the energy to even think about Matt's family and other friends and how they are feeling right now. If I stop focusing on Nick, I am going to fall apart myself.
All I can do is pray. Pray for Matt's parents, Terry and Debbie. Pray for his sister, Marjorie. Pray for his brother, Thad, and his sister-in-law, Becky, and their children. Pray for all of the people who have lost a dear friend. Pray for Nick. Pray for Serenity, who will never know her Uncle Matt. Pray for myself.
Our only consolation is that Matt knew Jesus. As wonderful a consolation as it is, grief still hangs thick in the air for those left behind.
Please pray with me?? We need you.
Oh honey, I am so sorry for your loss!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss! there are no words for a time like this.. Positive thoughts and love sent your way..
ReplyDeleteShauna
So very sorry for your loss. Suicide is such a heartbreaking thing, and so hard for anyone to understand. Being someone who suffers from depression, it breaks my heart to think that someone would feel quite so desperate and alone, and often no one ever knows until it is too late. I will keep friend, his family, and your family, in my prayers
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for your loss, that is terrible news. Keeping you all in my prayers.
ReplyDelete